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WTF fic quotes

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Community revival! [Jan. 28th, 2007|02:43 pm]
WTF fic quotes

eternalism
Well, we haven't had a good laugh at the expense of others in a long while. What say we get back to badfic bashing?

Intense Amount of Love and Pain, by xx-Mione-Fan-xx
Summary - After the war, Voldemort won, everythings in ruins, Hermione, Ron and Ginny are in hiding, Draco's POV through most of story. Can Draco save the three runaways? Is Harry really dead? Find out if you read. Storys probably better than sumof its parts. DHr Eventually.

Lavender Brown, Seamus Finnigan, and Dean Thomas stared at him as he walked by. They normally would have glared at him, but were too weak to do so. He stood looking at them. Brown’s ribs were sticking out clearly through her tattered blouse.

Ouch. There's no way that can't hurt. Or be really really bloody.

You could call Hermione a regular teenage girl, who parties, and lives a normal life. Except, that would be wrong.

You hear that, Ho!Mione writers? You'd be wrong!

Holy gasp, Moomoo!Collapse )

There. Small offerings, but it might keep people amused for a short time. I couldn't find as many badfics as I thought I'd be able to, at least not ones with decent things to quote. Either I'm out of practice, or the writers are getting better.

Three guesses as to which it is, and the first two guesses don't count. :p
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? [Dec. 5th, 2006|11:54 pm]
WTF fic quotes

realmess
[music |Suzanne Vega -My name is Luca]

Hey guys!
I guess we're all here for the fiction quotes, but I just saw that our mod has deleted her original journal. Does it mean that our comm will be deleted?

Hope not.

If yes, at least I'll leave you with a smile. I'm reading an o.k. FICTION, but the quote of doom (slips happen to everyone) should be here:
Ron and Hermione sheared a look and returned to the feast at the table.
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Rated for Draco's mouth. [Jun. 24th, 2006|03:17 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |too Snape]

Name of fic: Two New Worlds
Name of perpetrator: EMILY SNAPE Very emphatically!
Quote: This is the entire fic, except I snipped the last line.

It was a very foggy evening as Harry Potter put his glasses on. He knew something weird he knew there would be a new student at Hogwarts this year. Harry right away wrote about this to Hermione he said her name would be Emily Snape. Emily Snape Hermione wrote back is this true or are you lying to me Harry. No I’m not lying Hermione but then that means she must be Snape’s DAUGHTER. Wait a minute Snape could never have a daughter he’s too Snape. LOL! Well somehow and someway he had a daughter how is it we never knew about this I know where she’s coming from and it’s from America. . She is so beautiful I just can’t believe how beautiful she looks wait a minute she sort of looks like like like ME! Wait a minute then that means she’s also the daughter of my mother! I can’t believe my mother never even told me this! (In this fanfic his parents are still alive) Why wouldn’t she tell me this? Maybe this was before my mom met my dad maybe it was all just an honest to god actual mistake.

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Warning: Het [Jun. 8th, 2006|09:09 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |Voldemortal]

Headmeetsdesk presents: fics you would never, ever want to read.

Two moments of despair. Warnings: Angst, Charachter Death, Het Nooooo, anything but het!

***

Just a random thought. What if Voldemort put part of his soul into a chocolate bar?Rating just to be safe, anyone can read it realy!

***

Join Sonia and her unique owl Storm on the journey of a lifetime! Explore the secrets of her past and embrace the thrilling future that awits her! No, I don't think I'll be doing that.

***

A fairytale collapsing due to Voldemortal muh? threat. A rushed meeting in a park with a tragic ending despite preventative measures. Sirius in love. NOT slash. Gah! Not more het!!

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Boobs and Ass! (and a reminder) [Jun. 3rd, 2006|02:13 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |ON CRACK]
[music |Evanescences but we'll just ignore that]

In light of the recent TOSing of pottersues, I've added the following rule to our community info: Do not post fics or chapters in their entirety, as this violates LJ's TOS.

We've had no problems with that here, but better safe than sorry.

Now, on with the headdesky fun!

Name of fic: Everything I'm Not
Name of perpetrator: CeLeStIaLeMoBlOb

Quotes: I had just finished writing one of my many lyrics in my journal. Called 'Give unto me'( I know it's by Evanescences but we'll just ignore that )

***

Put the gun over my heart as I pull the trigure. . . If you're going to plagiarize lyrics, you could at least spell them right.

I shook my head getting rid of those thoughts. Sometimes being a lycrists A manufacturer of lycra and lycra products? can give you random morbid thoughts. Odd, but it happens. To me I just write them down and later I mix them all up and put it into a song. I was pureblooded but I wanted to be a muggle singer/lyrcist. I don't mean to boast, but I'm pretty damn good.


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Wreacksp?ing Havoc [May. 30th, 2006|12:48 am]
WTF fic quotes
cspinks
Summaries:
Harry Potter was always facinated by umbrellas. Implied HD slash oneshot.

After the events in HBP, Severus Snape finds himself alone in the house at Spinner's End, with memories of a certain Daft Olde Coote, which he bought at Ye Olde Novelty Shoppe but accidentally hoovered up one day.

Selene Grace is no ordinary witch... in fact shes barly human. But wierd things start to happen after she finds a mystirious room and a familier ghost boy. After that, Selene finds out she is no ordinary witch.

Princes. Princesses. Balls. Only in fairytales can these things happen, but what happens when you throw in a rebellious and sarcastic prince and a servant girl that has nothing?

a riddiculed girl who had no idea about her past is in LV's house. now when she learns of her true heiritage she starts to wreacksp? havoc. Is that likely to leave stains?

A seeker's mask has no eye holes. A seeker has no identity. So how can two seekers use the masks to find each other? Well, they're more likely to find each other than to find the Snitch in that get-up!

HArry defets the basteredCollapse )
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His stomach was slashed what happened? [May. 25th, 2006|05:34 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |a bit Japanese]

More Pit droppings. Enjoy!

Name of fic: Harry the vampire
Name of perpetrator: Chibi-san aka Siriusisway cool Got all that?
Quotes:

Harry lied miserably on his bed his eyes filled with tears. He had large bruises on his arms legs and stomach. His stomach was slashed what happened? His cousin that’s what happened, the overweight child (If you could call him one) had found Harry outside one Normal night sitting on the nearby parks swings set ,when he decided his cousin was the perfect tool, A tool to practice his pocket knife on.

***

Whist Harry was in his deep sleep he didn’t Notice the Dark shadow that was looking at him with sad eyes. The shadow sighed, and backed out from the corner witch it was lurking from.

***

“What side are you on?”

“I haven’t chosen yet. I don’t like Voldemort’s way of violence. As much as a dark creature as I am. But I don’t like the cherry man”

“I’m on the light side,” said Harry proudly, “But yes Dumbledore is rather annoying with his constant happiness.”


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i coulda suct taped him to the wall [May. 17th, 2006|08:41 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |OY]

A general mishmash post, before I return to my previous project.

Name of fic: The New Girl
Name of perpetrator: WeridosRox14
Quotes:

Lily was snaped out of her thought when a man who looked to be in his late 30's entered the room ...Snape?

***

I only broke his nose i coulda suct taped him to the wall SLURP! and let everyone else beat him up


***

Name of fic: Heros Redemtion
Name of perpetrator: padfootstwin2
Quotes:

Summary: Harry gets attacked. Honks later

***

At a gardens edge, a young man was on his knees working on a garden. The garden looked like it hadn’t been weeded in months. A sigh escaped from him. Leaning back, he whipped his forehead. Faster, forehead, faster!


***

Name of fic: Dracia Malfoy
Name of perpetrator: Dracia Malfoy
Quotes:

Summary: This is a poem with me and Harry. It shows my personality. Harry starts off with Hermione, who dies in childbirth. It's in a poematic story form. Enjoy:

I hereby present the "poematic story" in nearly-uncut WTFery (I snipped the first few lines). Enjoy?

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Themed WTFery, part one: dedicated to all those who have thought of suicide [May. 10th, 2006|09:10 pm]
WTF fic quotes
heartnomar5
[mood |the color of voldermort, black]

The following excerpts are from fics featured in McTabby's Title Executions. Enjoy! Part two should be up this weekend.

Name of fic: Harry Potter and the last Back
Name of perpetrator: SkaterAlexis
Quotes: Note: this fic is made up almost entirely of Evanescence lyrics.

Witches and wizards that was Black form Dark circle with bring me to life. Now with the latest news Red and snake form dark circle will be sighning at flourish and botts this Saturday before there last concert of the season.

***

It was crazy everything that has happened in the past few weeks. He was died, gone, obliterated. Dumbledoor. Oh Merlin. What now?

***

The sky of bleakness and despare. No stars showed tonight only a dark color of hopelessness, of black. The color of voldermort, black harry thought getting Hedwig out of her cage.


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Lotsa Summaries [May. 7th, 2006|09:38 pm]
WTF fic quotes
cspinks
More silly summaries from fanfiction.net:

Hey! You! AU!
your basic 7th year fic lil romance lil action lotta humour added ocs,calmer hermione, calmer harry,wilder ginny and ron being ron. please enjoy ps reincarnation fic life with james and lily also dumbly's not dead snapes not evil. Unfortunately, that is your basic 7th year fic.

What if Uncle Vernon had abandoned Harry in the forest? And he were raised by a Basilisk who had always wished to be a mother? What changes would that bring to his life as we know it?

Who?!
1 page of your time for a short laugh, if your familare, with LOTR's the 1st movie and Harry Potter, the 1st book, Harry Ron Herminony and Dumbledoor in middle earth!

A few ways to irritate Lord Voldemolt the title says it all!

What happens if Hermione, a pureblood witch who was betroth when she was born, finds Mr.Right who's turns out to be her fiance. Will they marry because they of the betroth from both families or will they betogether for love. What happens if Volemort shows his true rodent form?

What?!Collapse )
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